Tuesday, April 15, 2014
When it comes to diet rationality, science and truth are the first things to fly right out the fucking window. People want to stay within their comfort zones. They want to be able to eat whatever they want with no consequences just like when they were teenagers. They want to look great without exercising and without having to discipline themselves in their dietary habits. People will exhaust each and every diet gimmick out there before embracing what’s best for the human body. People are lazy and gluttonous and just want the path of least resistance.
Imagine for a minute that you are Jimmy Moore. I know… just the thought of it makes me want to put a bullet in my head too but stick with me. You’re a lazy fat fuck that has always been sedentary and you prefer eating garbage. Your taste buds are so deadened from salt and butter that fruit taste like shit and vegetables are downright unpalatable. Given the choice between imminent death and eating an apple you would choose an early grave. Then the snake oil salesman comes to town with an elixir and a message that reinforces your bad habits and tells you it’s not your fault. Eat meat. Eat butter. Eat more fat. Carbs are bad for you. So the Jimmy Moore’s of the world proceed to gobble down 5,000 calories of meat and dairy a day and then wonder why they remain fat and end up with a whole host of health issues.
The Atkins’ Diet was of course never meant to be used by mainstream dieters. It was a desperation diet for the morbidly obese prior to all these bypass surgeries and other surgical techniques for fat fucks. For the morbidly obese the clock is constantly ticking so any weight loss is preferable to the road these people are going down. Eliminating carbs eliminates soda and a whole host of non food snack products that these assholes shouldn’t have been consuming anyway. And spare me the, “everything in moderation” lecture. These people are way beyond the scope of that sort of advice. Between the loss of water weight and the elimination of the poisonous snack food these people lost some weight and a few might have even really done a turnaround. For most people using Atkins’ it’s a yo-yo diet where your weight goes up and down until you eventually die from a heart attack, stroke diabetes or some other fat ass related disease.
The Paleo crowd simply piggy backed off of Atkins’. They added more vegetables and eliminated grains and dairy. It’s basically just a fancy form of caloric restriction and it’s certainly a step up from Atkins’. This diet has really been embraced the narcissistic branch of the eating disorder crowd. If you keep your caloric consumption at around 1,800 calories a day, do Crossfit or some stupid shit like it, dabble in PEDs, drink lots of caffeine and chew nicotine gum then you too can look like Robb Wolf or Art DeVaney. Sure you’ll feel like shit most of the time and sooner or later the bill will come due as we are witnessing with Grandpa Art but for that brief moment in time you will have a six pack and we all know that the six pack is the ultimate indicator of health among this self obsessed crowd of douchebags.
Paleo is not a bad diet compared to the SAD but it’s still too much meat and not nearly enough fruit. Not to fear because Robb Wolf and the Paleo marketers have plenty of supplements for sale to make up for all the short comings of Paleo. All that matters to this crowd is the look. Health and wellness be dammed. I want a six pack on my 155 pound frame. So goes the rallying cry of these modern day hunters and gatherers.
The Paleo crowd has created their own mythology and folklore about the efficacy of this way of eating. According to the Paleo high priests, prior to the agricultural revolution 10,000 year ago people were healthier and happier. Cancer and heart disease were unheard of. Never mind the fact that these are both basically disease of aging and that the average life expectancy back then was about 30 years. And never mind that they didn’t know what these things were let alone have the ability to diagnose these things. I don’t think cavemen were doing autopsies but I’ll need to check with Art Devany on this. Even though humans have been thriving on grain based diets for 10,000 years we are told that this is not a sufficient period for us to make the evolutionary adaptations to adjust to eating grains. Statements like this are made all the time by the Paleo priests. They aren’t based on studies or anything factual. They are simply proclamations ex cathedra that people in the pews are expected to lap up. Critical thinking is neither welcomed nor encouraged among the flock.
It funny to me how so many otherwise educated people can be so gullible but when it comes to religious fervor all bets are off I guess. I remember the first time I heard one of these Paleo prognosticators pontificating about how heart disease didn’t exist 10,000 years ago. I thought to myself, “How the fuck does he know”? It wasn’t like he cited some study or had access to medical record of cavemen. What was this based on? A fucking hunch?
We know for certain that the whole Paleo mythology surrounding evolutionary adaptations is wrong. There are countless adaptations that have occurred over a 10,000 period such as the prevalence of blue eyes and the ability to digest cow’s milk. To assume that we stopped evolving in the Stone Age requires a leap of faith that one only finds among the most fanatical religious cults.
The fact is that we know little about Paleolithic man. How could we. There were no written records and fossil records of the Stone Age are limited. So what it all this Paleolithic who-ha based on? Answer: Wishful thinking. I believe there is life after death. What’s this based on? My religious beliefs and a whole lot of wishful thinking that I will not cease to exists in some form. It might be comforting but I have no evidence to back up this hunch of mine. It’s simply believing what I want to believe and ignoring what I don’t want to believe. We humans are great at that. Look how our military slaughters human beings on a regular basis. If this were done to our own children these would be crimes against humanity. We would be screaming out to God for justice and retribution. Since it’s someone else’s kid in some far off shit hole what do we do? We simply ignore it or we pretend that this is all just a regrettable part of “fighting for our freedom” or some such nonsensical sloganeering.
So as you can see the whole Paleo belief system is nothing more than the human tendency for believing what we want to believe. It’s really nothing more than a Paleo-fantasy. We long for this mythical period in time, a Garden of Eden if you will with meat instead of fruit, when we lived in perfect harmony with nature. What a fucking joke. Do these Paleo types even realize how absurd they are? Do they really believe that shopping for free range buffalo meat at Whole Foods replicates what Paleo man went through on a regular basis? Do any of them have even the slightest notion of how difficult it is to hunt an animal even today with the use of rifles? My guess is that life for these people was brutal and unpredictable. Some days you ate and others you didn’t. Near starvation conditions was probably the norm although this is simply a hunch on my part. Hunches, science, fantasy, facts…all the same thing.
Monday, April 14, 2014
Just this moment I finished up 6 juicy organic Bartlett pears. Mmmmmmmango! This weekend Rant really turned the corner as my body detoxed or expelled all that putrid meat and dairy. It’s a bit like the Atkins’s flu but in this case you can be sure that the discomfort is a sign of healing not getting sick like one does with all of these meat diets. With meat diets one simply gets used to feeling crappy all the time. This is why the Rob Wolfs of the world are so dependent on caffeine and nicotine gum. They need the boost and they need an appetite suppressant to keep their meat diets at around 1,800 calories. I mean you do realize that Paleo as the gurus practice it is nothing more than calorie restriction? Right?
The Paleo diet also goes hand in hand with arthritis, gout, heart disease and cancer. Even you dolts must realize that the data clearly indicates that lifestyle diseases are largely driven by a meat and dairy based diets. Those cultures where fruits, grains and vegetables dominant the diet are the ones with the least amount of obesity, cancer, diabetes and heart disease. Do you really think that the United States population is so unhealthy because they are not eating enough meat and dairy? I pray that you’re not that stupid. Look around. High meat consumption equals early death and poor quality of life. High fruit and vegetable consumption equals low rates of obesity, diabetes, heart disease and cancer. Even the beloved Eskimos have proven to be one of the least healthy people on the face of the planet, you know, now that we can actually collect data on them as opposed to fairy tales about Eskimos thriving on whale blubber. They survived on blubber they didn’t thrive on it. Living in a snow fort eating blubber is hardly what I would call a healthy lifestyle. It’s simply what they had available to them and they used it. They never saw Eskimos with heart disease most likely because they were already dead. Sick people were a burden and threatened the survival of everyone so it was common they would either go off or be left to die. Give me a fucking break with the Eskimo stories already.
Look I have nothing against meat and dairy. I love meat and dairy like I love chocolate cake but if I eat chocolate cake everyday I’m in for some disappointing health results. If you like eating meat and dairy that’s fine. Do it but at least get honest with yourself that regular consumption of these foods is most likely going to give you a whole host of health problems. I think we are even seeing it with Art The Old Fart. His hip went and his knee or shoulder. He looks ragged and old. For all the time he bragged about how virile and youthful he was he really did an about face. Art went into the game with good genes and like many with good genes they liked to take credit for it and chalk it up to their lifestyle. I am sure that old Art was warned by doctors over the years about all the meat and that he was thriving in spite of the meat not because of it.
Friday, April 11, 2014
Why is Jimmy Moore so full of shit? It must be all the meat. Check out this picture of the fucktard. Jimmy can you skew the picture anymore to make you appear thinner than you actually are. I mean I’ve never seen the man in person and don’t want to by the way but look at his head. It’s shaped like a giant dill pickle. I realize Jimmy is from the South and all but no one has a head shaped like that unless they were hatched from alien eggs or something. Looking real fit there buddy. Is it any wonder why everyone hates this asshole?
OK. Let's get back to fruit. You cunts are correct. Consuming enough calories on a fruitarian diet is very difficult. Oh sure if you are a couple of Australian douchebags with no jobs, kids, responsibilities or anything that remotely resembles a proper adult life then I guess it’s no problem to while away your days blending up banana/date smoothies and whining about being banished from a fucking fruit festival.
With that being said there is really no excuse for fruit not being a significant portion of your diet. I like the fruit eating during the day and grains and greens at night scenario. If I couldn’t throw down some brown rice or potatoes in the evening I’d be doomed. I’d cave in a stressful time and go order a few dozen double cheeseburgers from the Burger King. Besides that I’m the cook in the family and there is no way I am going to limit my 5 sons to nothing but fruit. So when I cook at night I make the vegetables and grains and then a meat. I simply don’t eat the meat. That works without creating a lot of fanfare about hey look at me I’m a fruitarian and now the whole world must endure my lectures and pompous attitudes about diet. Rant would never do that.
Of all the diets I have embarked on vegan is certainly the healthiest. All rational men agree on this. It doesn’t mean everyone will do it or even should do it but claiming that meat and cheese diets are superior to fruits and vegetables doesn’t even warrant exegesis. All you have to do is eat meat for two weeks and then try vegan for two weeks and you will see the difference. Still it might not be your thing. You may simply like stuffing your face with cured meats and cheeses. That’s fine. Just say so. Don’t make farcical claims about how fruit makes people fat. It makes you a look like a Jimmy Moore.
Weight loss is as simple as weight gain. You just basically do the opposite. Of course it’s much easier to say ‘no’ then it is to say ‘yes’ and this is the crux of all eating related issues. Some people are fairly indifferent towards food so deprivation is no big deal but if you like a good burger or steak and have no ethical qualms at all about murdering cows like Rant then it’s a whole different story. I guess you could say I’m a non-ethical vegan. I could give a flying fuck about cows and would be more than happy to smash one with a 20 pound sledgehammer just for the hell of it. I’m just sayin’.
Here is an example of how I ate yesterday. I ate 6 apples, 2 medium potatoes, broccoli, a peanut butter sandwich on real rye bread and then I ate 2 of my wife’s cookies. I also had 3 beers and half a joint . Outside of the cookies it was all totally vegan. My goal is to really up the fruit. I plan on making any evening snack a smoothie to help me with this.
I know I am about to start seeing some real tangible results. Once you start talking dumps that are effortless and almost a joy you know you are onto the good stuff. You can out away the psyllium husk and the Prilocec. You won’t need those things because you body won’t be clogged up with toxic meats and cheeses. Bowl health us one the best indicators or superior or inferior health. Evacuating one a day in a effortless fashion is a strong indicator of health. Being constipated, having acid reflux or farting are all sign that you health is in peril. Go out and buy a bunch of fruit and start eating. The stomach shit will actually get worse for few days because the poison is fighting with the living renewing fruits. Then you will have the mother of all dumps and you feel like a million buck. This means the life saving fruit has the upper hand. It took you decades to put all that crap in your body so don’t except to heal over night.
PS: This is my blog so I will write about whatever the fuck I want to write about. That means lot's more talk about fruit. So fruit you!
PS: This is my blog so I will write about whatever the fuck I want to write about. That means lot's more talk about fruit. So fruit you!
Thursday, April 10, 2014
"Virtually every health problem comes from food not being assimilated and eliminated properly."
Let’s talk about fruit. Shall we? Of all the crazy diets and nutritional gimmicks Rant has tried over the years NOTHING is as effective as eating more fruit. First and foremost fruit is loaded with the nutrients that we all need. It’s God’s food to us. Even the biblical story of creation revolves around a piece of fruit. The Garden of Eden was loaded with fruit. Had Eve not eaten the forbidden fruit we might all be roaming around naked in paradise eating fruit without a care in the world. What a cunt that Eve was.
In any event in this day and age we can eat all the fruit we want from all over the world and in the USA fruit is cheap by international standards. I just bought $37 dollars of fruit that will feed me for 3 days no problem. Of course I do eat grains and vegetables in the evening. Even if the idea of being a fruitarian is repugnant to you there is no reason why you shouldn’t be eating at least 12 pieces of fruit a day.
If you want to know whether or not you need to be adding more fruit to your diet just monitor your bowel movements. You should be taking a dump at least once or twice a day. When you do take a dump it should take about as long as it does to take a piss. If you need to bring in a copy of War and Peace then you have some serious problems. Fecal matter is poison. That’s why your body wants to get rid of it. If it lingers in your intestines and colon too long you are setting yourself up for all kinds of health problems. Fortunately there is a simply remedy. Eat more fruit. And this isn’t some bullshit about “trying” to eat more fruit or 1 piece of fruit is better than nothing. That’s all bullshit. Eating 2 pieces of fruit to address you gastric issues is like spitting on a gasoline fire. This is especially true if you are clogging up your bowels with meat and dairy.
Even when you do drop the meat and dairy and start eating fruit it’s not easy. First of all your digestive system is an absolute cluster fuck. Now fruit will do exactly what it’s supposed to do and that’s removing all those meat and dairy toxins from your system. So initially you may feel like shit as your body expels all the poisons but this is a good thing. This is sort of where I am at now after a year of pretty much eating whatever the fuck I want. But I can feel I am over the hump. Based on my last fruitarian experience in a few days I will be feeling sublime.
Last time I went fruity after week my extremities got noticeably thinner especially my face. A lot of this was due to decreases in my sodium intake which does puff one up. The weight did drop off unlike any of the meat and cheese diets that are in such vogue these days. I went from a 39 waist down to a 32 waists in 3 months. I want that again but my challenge is how to stick with it.
Once you first go fruity you fill up fast. Even now I just ate 3 apples and I feel stuffed and unable to eat anymore. This creates a calorie deficit and is the reason for the initial spike in weight loss that accompanies being a fruit eater. Eventually the body adapts and you can pound down 20-30 bananas a day along with other fruits. All the fruit experts seem to agree that the number one reason people go off fruit is they aren’t getting enough calories. That was the point I was at last time and then came Christmas and all the goodies and before you knew it the 38s came out of the closet.
So this time Rant is prepared. I bought a top quality blender and I plan on making banana/date smoothies a mainstay in my evening meals. If I need to wake up at midnight to slam down some bananas I will. I will also modify my workout quite a bit. The Tibetan Rites will still be a daily thing mixed in with a little half court basketball and GS kettlebell training. By June I will be shredded and I will post a YouTube so may all behold Rant in all his glory.