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Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Why Rant thrives and other dither.

With the recent physical demise of Art Devany Rant has been reminiscing  a lot about his stretch in the fitness game. I was active from the moment I was born and my youth filled with sports and lots and lots of outdoor play. I think climbing trees was just about my favorite activity and Rant could shimmy up trees like a fucking monkey. Being active always felt right to me and to be honest I didn’t really have a choice in the matter. I just loved to move.

Sometime in the late 70’s my parents bought me a YMCA membership for Christmas. I started lifting weights and playing around with other sorts of training concepts. I must have been 13 or 14 lifting weights in the YMCA’s dungeon of a gym. Seriously it looked like a medieval torture chamber. The only thing that remotely resembled a machine was some sort of homemade calf raise machine made out pipe. You had to put these thick foam cushions on your traps so the pipes didn’t crush you.  I think there was also some sort of homemade grip machine and the squat rack was also homemade. Most of the guys were pipe fitters, iron workers, plumbers and welders so they could make all this shit. There was plenty of free weight.
Anyway  my buddy Jack R and myself were doing curls or whatever and a beast of guy came over and started chatting us up about training and playing football and shit. We knew the dude, Artie Bortnick, because he was a pulling guard for Pitt back in the mid 70’s when they were national champs. Artie blocked for the Heisman trophy winner Tony Dorset.  We had a lot of respect for him even though he didn’t know us. We were just some punk kids but he saw that we had the desire so he taught us what he knew. We lifted with him 2 days a week though the summer. Another 2 days we lifted without him and of course played lots of pick up sports like basketball and football. Never really saw the guy again after that summer because he was busy with his life as a teacher and a coach but the foundation was laid. That’s how shit was passed on in those days. To charge for it would have made both parties out to be assholes. I mean this wasn’t applied physics. It was just lifting fucking weights. All the guys at that gym were helpful. It was a brotherhood of sorts. Not many people in the general population were into lifting then let alone devoted to time to simply exercise. Jogging was getting kind of big but the weight game had yet to really take off. Pumping Iron had just come out and it took some time for it to really take hold. There were only a handful of gyms and they were pretty rustic joints for guys interested in getting strong. All I remember commercial gym wise was Vic Tanny. Talk about dating yourself.

Anyway the habit stuck and Rant has never looked back. Almost all of the guys I knew from my early training/sports days are fat fucks now or simply so banged up they can’t seem to get off the couch. Rant just keeps going strong. Rant is never sick and rarely if ever injured. If Rant is injured it’s minor at most. Over the last 10 years or so Rant has noticed that many of his VL fitness contemporaries have dropped off the map. Where did they go? Most of them simply fell apart due to following false diets like Paleo and doing false workouts like Crossfit. Many were just loud mouth douchebags that were impervious to rational advice. They fucked themselves up and now they are just bloated fat fucks. Adam Glass comes to mind for some reason. He distinguished himself as a dolt’s dolt  which is not easy to do in the fitness world that is so chock full of douchebags. Anyway he’s gone along with many others.

The funny thing about all these people that have bitten the dust is that they all scoffed at Rant as some sort of contrarian quack. What was their biggest criticism of me? That I had training ADD. Never once did it occur to these dumb cunts that what they saw as a lack of commitments was actually my commitment.  Rant has always been clear that constant change was the way to go for long term health and wellness. All I had to do was look at the guys ahead of me that had ruined shoulders, knees, hips and backs due to the repetitive trauma of doing the same thing over and over. These people confused fitness with sport. They were far too caught up in linear progressions, charts, graphs and the dreaded training journal.  I suppose that’s great if you are an Olympic hopeful but you aren’t. And the whole fitness as sport thing is just some Crossfit gimmick to get you to shell out $499 a month to do calisthenics in a warehouse. How fucking pathetic.

Of course Rant has never been in the business of selling some health and wellness concept. The second you do that is when you start to compromise your own fitness or your integrity. For example Jimmy Moore is so neck deep in this low carb nonsense that he can’t turn away from it. He has to keep eating low carb in spite of the fact that it is compromising his health by doing so. Art Devany is also deep in the bullshit of his Paleo fantasies. He might still keep up with his starvation diet but gone are the days of Art leaping from boulder to boulder or other really Paleo activities like lat pull downs. Or what about Pavel? When was the last time he did a cycle of ETK ? At least Glassman doesn’t try to rationalize the fact that he’s a fat, drunken slob. He’s in it for that easy cert money and brother is he rolling in it. He doesn’t give a fuck about health and doesn’t claim to be healthy.

Being unencumbered by these little fitness and diet scams Rant is free to pursue what’s best for Rant. Seeing that Rant is just your average guy what Rant does would probably work for others although fitness like spirituality is a path to be taken alone most of the time. You have to figure out what makes sense to you and what’s best for you. It’s not a contest but sadly fitness types all start whipping out their dicks when discussions arise about the best protocol. The best protocol is no protocol. Themes and outlines make sense as long as you leave yourself a lot of wiggle room for improvising. I might go on a kettlebell sport training run but if my shoulder starts to tweak I’m done and off to something else. You would keep working right through this which I personally find flabbergasting. Why would someone destroy their body under the guise of fitness? It never made any sense but “sticking to it” or whatever it is seems to carry a lot of weight among the whipping out the dick crowd.  Perfect example is Adam Glass. I remember telling him over at IGX that his methods of couching were a disservice to his “clients” and that his own training would end in tendonitis and arthritis best case scenario. He was into all this nail bending, overcompensating, macho bullshit. Where’s he at now? Who knows. He hasn’t posted on his blog in a year.

My guess is that the next trend in fitness will be the mea culpa trend. Well it’s already started especially among all the drug addled power lifters like Tate and Wendler and those sorts of puffy boys. “Boy was I deluded taking too many drugs (even though I denied it), getting fat , doing stupid spine crushing workouts and calling everyone a pussy who wasn’t doing the same. Well now I have learned my lesson. I have  a new line of shit to sell you. This time you can trust me. I promise.” For some reason we seem to have more trust in frauds and fucking shysters that have “mended their ways” then people who have been doing the right thing all along. When you think about it you can’t help but snicker. It’s kind of like all the fatties over at IGX waddling over to Shaf for dietary advice. Shaf used to be real fat. Now he’s just fat so he must know what he’s doing. Right?  I mean why would you want to take advice from a guy that has always been successful with his diet? He obviously must have had a “genetic advantage” or something.

The problem with health and wellness is that people keep looking for the Holy Grail. No carbs, kettlebells, Crossfit, YRG, TRX, 5,4,3,2,1, blast off! It’s a never ending litany of bullshit or at best rehashed bullshit. The fact is that not much has changed in terms of the science of diet and exercise. The principles are still basically what they were in the old days. You need to stay active and you need to eat right. The best way to lose weight is through creating a calorie deficit and the best way to achieve that is through a diet of fruits, vegetables and unrefined grains .  Meat and dairy are fine but only in moderation. There is nothing magically about any of this. You get fat by consuming more calories than your expended. It’s not  a sluggish pituitary gland, carbs or any other bullshit that is making you fat. As far as I know no one has refuted the law of thermodynamics. If you have you are destined for greatness. The simple fact is that the only difference between 1,000 calories of rice and 1,000 calories of meat is that one will clog up your arteries and the other one won’t. Can you guess which is which? Despite what you want to believe no one has been able to refute the heart damaging effects of a meat based diet. And meat of course is a calorie dense food that is very easy to over consume. It’s not just an unlucky coincidence that cultures that consume a lot of meat and dairy are the fattest and unhealthiest people on earth and that those that eat a diet that is plant and grain based are the healthiest.  Despite this being so crystal clear what is the rallying cry among the current fad diets? That’s right. More fucking meat. Fucking idiots.


Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Update.

While you have all been checking for updates Rant is actually living life. Since I know you all live vicariously through Rant I feel obligated to toss you losers a few crumbs.


Weed. Smoker it, vape it, drink it, eat it or rub it on your skin. It’s healthy for you and there is NO DOUBT in my mind that cannabis is an excellent recovery enhancer.  This doesn’t mean you can rip off 20 bong hits a night. A bowl would be more than sufficient and your muscles will thank you. I have no idea if this is due to the chemical composition of the weed or if it just makes you relax more. It’s not coincidental that so many professional athletes use weed on a regular basis. There are no calories to consume or messy hangovers to deal with. It’s not addicting as opposed to alcohol or muscle relaxers and that kind of thing. I’m sure you can abuse it but what’s the point? The difference between 4 beers and 8 is the difference between buzzed and drunk for me. The more I drink the drunker I get. Not so much with weed. After a certain point you can’t get much higher just dumber and paranoid. For Rant 2-4 hits is more than sufficient.  It enhances just about everything in the evening after the workday and family stuff is done.  I can’t even explain how it has enhanced Rant’s sex life.  Too bad for the steppers, groupers and teetotalers.  Enjoy your Folger’s coffee and obsessing about your shortcomings. Puff!!

Heavy bag work.  Fuck heavy hands. I mean in theory heavy hands is great but the reality is that no one with an ounce of self respect is going to do this in public. There is no escaping the douchebag/dork syndrome associated with heavy hands. There is a reason why it never caught on. The heavy bag could be the ultimate 4 limbed exercise IF DONE RIGHT. That last part is the key which is why I emphasized it for you dolts. Most people don’t train the heavy bag properly.  Even seasoned fighters will just stand there hitting the bag or simply move slowly to their left tossing a jab here or there with no head movement. I don’t care of you kick the bag or not. Right now I don’t kick the bag but my guess is that you would get even greater benefits if you did. I box the bag and I do just that. I pretend it’s a real fight and I am moving every second. Once my legs go then I switch over to rounds of sledgehammer or kettlebell clean and jerks or snatches.  Normally I set the timer to 12 x 3 minute rounds. Last night for example I did 7 rounds all out. I mean I was legless. So I rested one round and then the last 4 rounds I did sledgehammer work. This is hard and very productive work but you need to put some heart into it which is exactly what most of you have never done on a bag or anything else for that matter. I have seen a million guys claim they hit the bag and didn’t really gain any conditioning. Then you watch the asshole and you realize this cunt is no different that the fat fuck that reads a book while walking on a treadmill. You get what you put into it. Rant also does a lot of jump rope and half court basketball to round out his approach to his new and improved look. I want to be the X man like Art Devany.


The Ukraine. I know I shouldn’t but I can’t help being delighted that Obama and company are looking like effete and flaccid pussies.  At the same time I’m embarrassed that Russia has Putin doing karate and riding stallions in Siberia while our president rides around Martha’s Vineyard on a bicycle wearing a gay helmet and mom jeans. The masculine ideal is gone in this nation and it won’t be but a generation or two before we have become about as much of a threat as the French. Putin is tapping into this national shame by mocking us for being held hostage by the homosexual cabal and other sexual deviants, feminists and other shrills. As Obama and Kerry draw lines in the sand he simply kicks sand in our faces knowing full well that we no longer have it. This country is sunk. We sold our collective souls somewhere during the Clinton regime and it’s been once pussy president after another. Gone are the days for war heros and college football stars in the White House. Now its band dorks, cheerleaders, draft dodgers and community activists. Where’s John Wayne when you need him?  Now the male ideal is David Schwimmer types and other whiney indecisive pussies. The Ukraine symbolizes bluffing the bully. We’re great at killing primitive people with essentially no resources to fight back but we will never take on a player that would at least put up a good fight. The people that make up the military are not the same caliber as the men of my father’s generation. They are mentally and physically weak as can be established by the alarming number of men that come back and kill themselves. I don’t blame the men. I blame the lack of training. They obviously don’t prepare these men for what they have to deal with and then they essentially kick them to the curb when they are done with them.  The military is far too preoccupied with providing tampons to all women supply clerks and figuring out how to be more accommodating to homosexuals and of course cross dressers.  No great army should be without their share of drag queens.



Fruit. Eat it and lots of it. Fruit is your friend but man cannot live on fruit alone nor should he. Rant still eats primarily fruits during the day and grains at night but on special occasions it’s not uncalled for to eat meat, dairy and sweets. These are feast food not every day staples like your diet.  Meat and cheese makes you fat. Fat makes you fat. Carbs don’t make you fat. And all this has been established as truth for quite some time.  Just because an economist, a chemist, a douchebag, a cunt and guy that isn’t a scientist but writes a lot about science says carbs make you fat doesn’t mean it’s so. I suppose people just like to seek out “truths” telling them what they want to hear.




The Boston Marathon. Let’s stop deluding ourselves here. The terrorist won. If you watched the event on TV they tended to not show the militarized zone along the race route. Legitimate citizens were hassled for carrying bags or “acting suspicious” which is a clever way of saying that Boston was a police state on Monday. This was sort of lost among the clamoring douchebags mugging for the camera and talking all this Boston Strong bullshit. If you think it takes some great act of courage to go watch a marathon then you’re an asshole. I never liked the marathon even before the bombing. The whole city shuts down so a bunch of flabby yuppies can trot for 5 hours pissing and shitting themselves. I swear the city smells like piss for a month after the event. And is there anything less athletically inspiring than watching a bunch dumb fucks jogging slowly? Most people have the day off which is termed Patriot’s Day. You simply can get anywhere in the city and God forbid they hold it on a Sunday. And what’s the cost of security? And where’s is it coming from? It had to be a day of deficit spending in Boston having to pay a small army of armed coffee drinkers to deter the big bad wolf but we’d never know because media types don’t ask those sorts of questions and Mayor Walsh still suffers from water on the brain or fetal alcohol syndrome of some such affliction and he can’t count higher than ten ( twenty if he’s at the beach)

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Boston Stupid!

We’ve become a nation of abject morons. Yesterday was the anniversary of the Boston marathon bombings. Idiots all over the city had blue and yellow ribbons everywhere. Joe Biden came to town and announced right at the spot that the bombs went off that, “We are America, we own the finish line.” OK. What the fuck does that mean? Lots and lots of grandstanding going on here folks.


Now keep in mind the security down there was off the charts. There’s a cop and surveillance camera on every corner and it’s costing you millions. In addition there was Secret Service everywhere to protect our knucklehead vice president. Not long after Biden made his idiotic speech a cross dresser got off the T with two backpacks, placed one at the finish line and kept the other one with him. He then paraded down Boylston Street dressed like a freak shouting, “Boston strong! Boston strong!” The police finally apprehended the man, found a rice cooker with confetti in one bag and camera equipment in the other. Fortunately this asswipe Kevin Edson was a “performance artist” and not a “terrorist”. Had he been a “terrorist” we could have had another tragedy on our hands.

 

Naturally everyone is focused on what a douchebag the performance artist is but they miss point.  If he had wanted to set off a bomb he could have and all that surveillance and police presence in the world could not have stopped it. No one and I mean no one in Boston is talking about this, at least publically.  They should be talking about this because this is the real story not the dumb asshole doing his performance art. You cannot be protected from another attack if someone is hell bent on launching one. Ask the Israelis. Ask the Brits. All this surveillance and police presence is simply creating the illusion of safety. Police don’t fight crime and they don’t deter crime. They show up after the grizzly event drinking coffee and kicking the curb for a few extra hours of overtime. They might hassle a citizen or two but they do nothing to deter anything. Rant has seen photos that a friend took last year at the race where dozens of cops where not running to the scene but away from it. If he let me I would post them on my blog.

 

Of course our personal safety is not a high priority to our elites at least not directly. The elites are always well protected so it doesn’t really matter to them. What they want is for you to feel safe enough to spend money. Remember what George Bush told the nation after 9-11? He told us to go shopping. That’s what we have been reduced to in the eyes of the elite. We’re just consumers making sacrifices at the altar of capitalism. That is our utility. The so called war on terror turned out to be a blessing in disguise for the elites. Now they can trample all over our civil rights and raid the public trough unimpeded. But hey don’t worry. Bring your kids down to the race on Monday. Law enforcement has everything under control. Don’t forget your credit cards.

 


 

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Diet as a religion.

When it comes to diet rationality, science and truth are the first things to fly right out the fucking window. People want to stay within their comfort zones. They want to be able to eat whatever they want with no consequences just like when they were teenagers. They want to look great without exercising and without having to discipline themselves in their dietary habits. People will exhaust each and every diet gimmick out there before embracing what’s best for the human body. People are lazy and gluttonous and just want the path of least resistance.



Imagine for a minute that you are Jimmy Moore. I know… just the thought of it makes me want to put a bullet in my head too but stick with me. You’re a lazy fat fuck that has always been sedentary and you prefer eating garbage. Your taste buds are so deadened from salt and butter that fruit taste like shit and vegetables are downright unpalatable.  Given the choice between imminent death and eating an apple you would choose an early grave. Then the snake oil salesman comes to town with an elixir and a message that reinforces your bad habits and tells you it’s not your fault.  Eat meat. Eat butter. Eat more fat. Carbs are bad for you. So the Jimmy Moore’s of the world proceed to gobble down 5,000 calories of meat and dairy a day and then wonder why they remain fat and end up with a whole host of health issues.

The Atkins’ Diet was of course never meant to be used by mainstream dieters. It was a desperation diet for the morbidly obese prior to all these bypass surgeries and other surgical techniques for fat fucks.  For the morbidly obese the clock is constantly ticking so any weight loss is preferable to the road these people are going down. Eliminating carbs eliminates soda and a whole host of non food snack products that these assholes shouldn’t have been consuming anyway. And spare me the, “everything in moderation” lecture. These people are way beyond the scope of that sort of advice. Between the loss of water weight and the elimination of the poisonous snack food these people lost some weight and a few might have even really done a turnaround. For most people using Atkins’ it’s a yo-yo diet where your weight goes up and down until you eventually die from a heart attack, stroke diabetes or some other fat ass related disease.

The Paleo crowd simply piggy backed off of Atkins’. They added more vegetables and eliminated grains and dairy. It’s basically just a fancy form of caloric restriction and it’s certainly a step up from Atkins’. This diet has really been embraced the narcissistic branch of the eating disorder crowd. If you keep your caloric consumption at around 1,800 calories a day, do Crossfit or some stupid shit like it, dabble in PEDs, drink lots of caffeine and chew nicotine gum then you too can look like Robb Wolf or Art DeVaney. Sure you’ll feel like shit most of the time and sooner or later the bill will come due as we are witnessing with Grandpa Art but for that brief moment in time you will have a six pack and we all know that the six pack is the ultimate indicator of health among this self obsessed crowd of douchebags.


Paleo is not a bad diet compared to the SAD but it’s still too much meat and not nearly enough fruit. Not to fear because Robb Wolf and the Paleo marketers have plenty of supplements for sale to make up for all the short comings of Paleo. All that matters to this crowd is the look. Health and wellness be dammed. I want a six pack on my 155 pound frame.  So goes the rallying cry of these modern day hunters and gatherers.

The Paleo crowd has created their own mythology and folklore about the efficacy of this way of eating. According to the Paleo high priests, prior to the agricultural revolution 10,000 year ago people were healthier and happier.  Cancer and heart disease were unheard of. Never mind the fact that these are both basically disease of aging and that the average life expectancy back then was about 30 years. And never mind that they didn’t know what these things were let alone have the ability to diagnose these things. I don’t think cavemen were doing autopsies but I’ll need to check with Art Devany on this. Even though humans have been thriving on grain based diets for 10,000 years we are told that this is not a sufficient period for us to make the evolutionary adaptations to adjust to eating grains. Statements like this are made all the time by the Paleo priests. They aren’t based on studies or anything factual. They are simply proclamations ex cathedra that people in the pews are expected to lap up. Critical thinking is neither welcomed nor encouraged among the flock.

It funny to me how so many otherwise educated people can be so gullible but when it comes to religious fervor all bets are off I guess. I remember the first time I heard one of these Paleo prognosticators pontificating about how heart disease didn’t exist 10,000 years ago. I thought to myself, “How the fuck does he know”? It wasn’t like he cited some study or had access to medical record of cavemen. What was this based on? A fucking hunch?

We know for certain that the whole Paleo mythology surrounding evolutionary adaptations is wrong. There are countless adaptations that have occurred over a 10,000 period such as the prevalence of blue eyes and the ability to digest cow’s milk. To assume that we stopped evolving in the Stone Age requires a leap of faith that one only finds among the most fanatical religious cults.

The fact is that we know little about Paleolithic man. How could we. There were no written records and fossil records of the Stone Age are limited. So what it all this Paleolithic who-ha based on? Answer: Wishful thinking. I believe there is life after death. What’s this based on? My religious beliefs and a whole lot of wishful thinking that I will not cease to exists in some form. It might be comforting but I have no evidence to back up this hunch of mine. It’s simply believing what I want to believe and ignoring what I don’t want to believe. We humans are great at that. Look how our military slaughters human beings on a regular basis. If this were done to our own children these would be crimes against humanity. We would be screaming out to God for justice and retribution. Since it’s someone else’s kid in some far off shit hole what do we do? We simply ignore it or we pretend that this is all just a regrettable part of “fighting for our freedom” or some such nonsensical sloganeering.


So as you can see the whole Paleo belief system is nothing more than the human tendency for believing what we want to believe. It’s really nothing more than a Paleo-fantasy. We long for this mythical period in time, a Garden of Eden if you will with meat instead of fruit, when we lived in perfect harmony with nature. What a fucking joke. Do these Paleo types even realize how absurd they are? Do they really believe that shopping for free range buffalo meat at Whole Foods replicates what Paleo man went through on a regular basis? Do any of them have even the slightest notion of how difficult it is to hunt an animal even today with the use of rifles? My guess is that life for these people was brutal and unpredictable. Some days you ate and others you didn’t. Near starvation conditions was probably the norm although this is simply a hunch on my part.  Hunches, science, fantasy, facts…all the same thing.

Monday, April 14, 2014

Mmmmmmmango!

Just this moment I finished up 6 juicy organic Bartlett pears. Mmmmmmmango! This weekend Rant really turned the corner as my body detoxed or expelled all that putrid meat and dairy. It’s a bit like the Atkins’s flu but in this case you can be sure that the discomfort is a sign of healing not getting sick like one does with all of these meat diets. With meat diets one simply gets used to feeling crappy all the time. This is why the Rob Wolfs of the world are so dependent on caffeine and nicotine gum. They need the boost and they need an appetite suppressant to keep their meat diets at around 1,800 calories. I mean you do realize that Paleo as the gurus practice it is nothing more than calorie restriction? Right?

The Paleo diet also goes hand in hand with arthritis, gout, heart disease and cancer. Even you dolts must realize that the data clearly indicates that lifestyle diseases are largely driven by a meat and dairy based diets. Those cultures where fruits, grains and vegetables dominant the diet are the ones with the least amount of obesity, cancer, diabetes and heart disease. Do you really think that the United States population is so unhealthy because they are not eating enough meat and dairy? I pray that you’re not that stupid. Look around. High meat consumption equals early death and poor quality of life. High fruit and vegetable consumption equals low rates of obesity, diabetes, heart disease and cancer. Even the beloved Eskimos have proven to be one of the least healthy people on the face of the planet, you know, now that we can actually collect data on them as opposed to fairy tales about Eskimos thriving on whale blubber.  They survived on blubber they didn’t thrive on it. Living in a snow fort eating blubber is hardly what I would call a healthy lifestyle. It’s simply what they had available to them and they used it. They never saw Eskimos with heart disease most likely because they were already dead. Sick people were a burden and threatened the survival of everyone so it was common they would either go off or be left to die. Give me a fucking break with the Eskimo stories already.


Look I have nothing against meat and dairy. I love meat and dairy like I love chocolate cake but if I eat chocolate cake everyday I’m in for some disappointing health results.  If you like eating meat and dairy that’s fine. Do it but at least get honest with yourself that regular consumption of these foods is most likely going to give you a whole host of health problems. I think we are even seeing it with Art The Old Fart.  His hip went and his knee or shoulder. He looks ragged and old. For all the time he bragged about how virile and youthful he was he really did an about face. Art went into the game with good genes and like many with good genes they liked to take credit for it and chalk it up to their lifestyle. I am sure that old Art was warned by doctors over the years about all the meat and that he was thriving in spite of the meat not because of it.